just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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