Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
