He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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