I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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