Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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