hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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