Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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