one might say we're banned from that church
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
And then he peed in my hair
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