I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
