How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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