happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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