We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
