Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
