Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
