ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
