Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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