my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
