My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize