i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
