2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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