I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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