Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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