If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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