After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
