I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
