i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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