She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
