Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
