Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
