My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
