Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
