i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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