You work out of a Hotel?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
