Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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