Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
