I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize