CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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