it wasn't lemon gatorade
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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