so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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