Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
