I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The air was thick with penises
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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