party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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