And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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