If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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