At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
