Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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