literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
