But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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