I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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