ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
