I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
