I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
These tits shall not be calmed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
