i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
