i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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