"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
