Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
