i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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