Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
