meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize