i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
