Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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