Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
