haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
