4 words: hood of his car
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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