i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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