Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
